Newness

Spring is an especially poignant time to have a baby, with all of nature so tender and new. It’s a time of year I always feel a little guilty about — I never feel I do it justice, never enjoy it as much as these precious few weeks of high spring should be enjoyed.

Having a baby feels similar. Older people keep stopping me in public to say, “Before you know it, they’ll be off to college.” At the same time, the time seems to pass slowly as I’m waiting for Lily to get better at things like eating and sleeping.

Everywhere I go with her, as we walk under blossoming trees and fresh leaves, I tell her, “We live in heaven. This is heaven right now.” Spring in the northeast is so amazingly beautiful, especially after a long wait.

Of course, she’s oblivious to it all. But part of my pleasure is knowing she has a lifetime of springs ahead of her.

I used to think it would be unethical to create a child, largely for environmental reasons. Learning that carbon offsets are cheaper than I thought helped me change my mind. But I also became persuaded that adding another person to the world is good because it’s one more person who gets to experience the good things in life. And I keep feeling excited for Lily and all the good things she is about to discover. Lilacs! Swing sets! Ice cream! Swimming! Books! Kissing! Raspberries!

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